Let Them Eat Cake

Liz (my sister) is getting married 6 weeks before me.  They are having a bigger wedding (250 guests) than we our planning, but trying to maintain their budget.  One way Liz thought to do this was to ask my mom to make her wedding cake.  My mom has been decorating birthday cakes for friends and family since the 70s.  She has various cake pans and decorating books, which came in handy when she assisted me with making flower girl cookies.  Even with having decades of fun with cake decorating, all her projects have been small.  Taking on a wedding cake to feed even 100 people is bigger than anything she has ever tried.  When Liz initially asked her, she didn’t really think she could do it. Nonetheless, she accepted the challenge and used Liz’s birthday as an opportunity to make a test wedding cake.

The cake required 5 boxes of cake mix and hours of time to complete. 

The ribbon she found at the store didn’t quite cut it.  The purple ribbon used to adorn the cake came from a plastic table cloth (hence it not being perfectly even).

For a first trial cake that served 75 people, I thought it turned out well. It tasted great, which is the most important part.   The bottom layer had strawberry filing.

I don’t think my mom is going to end up making Liz’s wedding cake. It took too much time and wasn’t up to her perfection standard. Rob and I have already decided that we are going to keep our cake simple by opting for Publix to make it. I know that if I really wanted her to, my mom would work to make the best wedding cake that she could. I’d rather pay a bit more for the cake and allow my mom to enjoy the days leading up to the wedding without the stress of baking.

Dress Shopping

Right after getting engaged, I started looking online at dresses and quickly saw the style I thought I wanted. I anticipated dress shopping to be more difficult for me since dresses tend to be designed to look gorgeous while standing up saying vows. Sitting down all the time means that I’ll have to opt of the traditional Cinderella style and long heavy trains, which is one of the reasons I applied to get the expert advice of Lori on Say Yes to the Dress. Since, apparently, my family, future in-laws and I don’t yield enough drama for reality television, I had to go dress shopping based on my own judgments.

The first dress shopping trip was fun. My mom, future mother-in-law, sister, and two friends (Catherine and Shailee) joined in on the excitement. I was overwhelmed with the number of dress choices, but honed in on the style I’m looking for. I was nervous about the physical aspects of trying on wedding gowns. They are heavy and have so much material that I anticipated a struggle. The first dress (which was put on over my head) didn’t look right. The problem with wedding gowns is that the sample size is so large (or small, depending on the person). The dress comes in one size and you have to use clips to get it to fit your body. It was as if the dress was eating me. The second dress allowed us to get in the groove of the best way to change dresses. Over the head was out and stepping into the gown while one person lifts me up a bit and another pulls up the gown. It really turned out better than I envisioned and was comparably quick. Second dress looked more bridal, but was too poufy for my taste. The third dress was just what I was looking for. It had more crinoline than I want, which isn’t a big issue because it can be removed. They put the veil on and it looked gorgeous. I really liked this dress but I still wanted to try on more. Dresses four and five were ok; however I put on number three again. I really liked it, but wasn’t certain it was the one. It’s difficult to make that decision when the dress is too large and you have a hard time picturing it as it will be to fit you. For the time being, I did not say yes to that dress. I want to look at another shop and weigh my options so that I’m certain when I’ve found the next dress.

First Attempt at DIY Wedding Décor

The midnight supervisor (Matyka) at my office has been telling for the last two months that I’m behind on wedding plans and need to do X,Y, & Z by such-and-such a date. I came into work one day to find a stack of bridal books on my desk.

Personally, I thought we were on track, even though finding a condo has taken up most of our free time. However, once that came to a stalemate, I was re-energized for wedding plans. I searched online for easy do-it-yourself ideas that I could start on right away. I didn’t want to wait until a couple months before the wedding, when working on crafts would stress me out as opposed to be being fun. I honed in on candles, centerpieces, and flower girl baskets. So, on a furlough day, Matyka and I looked to see what we could find.

It took all day and searching two dollar stores, Michaels, and Walmart to find the supplies (some of which didn’t work out and need to be returned).

The fruits of our labors were individual candles (R for Robert and M for Melanie) for lighting the unity candle. (The actual unity candle still is waiting to be created, since I didn’t buy enough pillar candles.)

We also put together three memorial candles. I saw these on a website and thought making one at least for Rob’s father would be nice. I know that Rob wishes his father could be there to witness our happiness on the special day, so something commemorating him was important for me to do for him.

The candles were surprisingly easy to make. I found the poem online and added the appropriate names to each. Then, we printed the poem out on vellum (translucent paper) and taped to the candle. After that, we attached a ribbon with hot glue to dress the candles up a bit.

I loved the way they turned out. I’m glad I could find easy and pretty ways to personalize our wedding and pay tribute to those that have passed away who were important in our lives.

We also created a sample centerpiece. When I started off, I didn’t know exactly what I wanted for a centerpiece. I thought perhaps simply candles would be nice. After seeing a picture of flowers in water with a floating candle on top, though, I attempted to re-create it for our wedding.

Searching for flowers may have been the most difficult part. I was leaning towards silk flowers, so that the centerpieces could be done ahead of time (aside from adding water and lighting the candle). Michael’s had lots of flowers that were pricier than I expected. Ten dollars or more for one fake flower wasn’t what I was expecting, and the purpose of creating this centerpiece with fake flowers was to cut down on the expense of bouquets at each table. For that price, I might as well use the real thing. Finding a small bouquet of yellow roses was exactly what I was looking for, although at first attempt I was not so sure.

Putting roses and ribbon to fill in didn’t look right. Also, I accidentally bought purple rocks to put in the bottom of the vase—they looked silver in the store!

Using what I had around me, I added some natural-looking rocks and added leaves to the roses, which made the vase look very elegant.

I also added some votive candles (also compliments of our dining room table centerpiece) around the vase to get the desired effect.

The centerpiece was incredibly easy to make and I think it looks beautiful. I think this centerpiece will likely adorn some, though perhaps not all, tables at our reception. To mix it up, I’m thinking of a couple of different centerpieces, one of which may be the traditional route of fresh flowers.

I hope that once we find a condo, I can get to my future DIY projects--unity candle and flower girl baskets (once I find the baskets and flowers).

Yes to the Dress?

Yep—I applied for Say Yes to the Dress. I was bored one night and came across the application online. I decided to fill it out because I knew my future nieces watch the show and they would be so excited if I was on it, and since I had nothing to lose by answering a few questions and sending in a picture, I went ahead and applied.

I didn’t hear from them for over a month. I assumed that by since I selected the lowest possible price point for a dress ($500-1000), they decided against using me. To my surprise, though, I received an email indicating that they had selected me for a phone interview. Based on the outcome of the phone interview, filming would be two weeks later.

The interview went “fine” to me. Standard stuff that I expected—how did we meet, who was paying for the dress, what kind of dress do you want, etc. They also asked me about how people would describe me and for me to describe the people I would want to bring to the bridal shop (Mom, sister, mother-in-law, etc).

I made the rookie mistake of describing people honestly (at least if I wanted to get on reality TV). I described my mom as not liking conflict and not liking to rock the boat. I also described my sister as caring, more outgoing than me, and always being there when I need her, which is very true. When they asked about bridesmaids, I described our mutual friend Catherine (the friend who introduced me to Rob). I talked about how I believed Catherine would always be there for Rob or me. I mentioned that she is such a loyal friend--how she agreed to move into our condo (in the event of a deployment) since Rob would sleep easier knowing I wasn’t alone.

In hindsight, this is a bad move. Apparently, not talking about mother-in-law and/or mother drama does not make for good television. Reality TV loves drama. Functional, loving families and friends like mine don’t attract viewers.

I do think showing our story would have been unique. My futile search for brides in wheelchairs tends to lead back to the Say Yes to the Dress bride who was in a wheelchair. I’ve seen many comments describing this as people’s favorite episode. (I’m still searching for this episode. Netflix skips season 4. I would like to see the types of dresses recommended and how they attached a train to her chair.)

I suppose it is all for the best in the end. Based on my sister’s limited experience at Bridal’s by Lori, I probably would have been saying “no” to the dress. Their low price point realistically starts at around $1,500. My sister, who went there a few weeks ago for her wedding in April, said the least expensive dress she saw in the type she wanted was around $2,000.

Personally, I’d love to stay below $1,000. (Rob told me Say Yes to the Dress viewers would think poorly of him if I said he was a lawyer, we are paying for the dress, and we can’t spend over $1,000.) As a matter of principle, I’d rather not. If I fall crazy in love with a dress, maybe a little over that. Otherwise, I can’t justify that much money for a dress that I’d wear once, even a dress this important. If I was buying a cocktail dress I could wear several times, I’d have a problem paying ¼ of that.

Based on what I think I want from internet searches, I think paying $1,000 or under is possible. I’ll just have to try dresses at shops with less publicity.

Reception Venue Secure, Homeowner Bound

You'd think our our favorite weekend activity (based on past behavior) was looking at wedding venues. Since deciding on Cherokee Run, we had to find a new hobby. So, we have put our wedding plans on the back burner so that we can focus on buying a home.

We want to buy a condo in midtown Atlanta. Rob’s office is here and, since he has to bill a certain number of hours per year, it makes sense for us right now to cut a commute time out of his work time each day. With me commuting from midtown, it takes about 20-30 minutes depending on traffic. Since Rob is evaluated based on his billable hours in the year,, while I work a standard eight-hour shift, it makes sense for us to take his commute out of our equation. In the last few weeks, since I’ve been working days, we both get to work around the same time, but I’m home at least 30 minutes before him. So, since he’s more likely to be working longer days, we’re able to spend more time together if he’s closer to work.

We started our search search in Park Central, which is Rob’s current building. We’ve looked at several two-bedroom units in that building, but haven’t been able to find anything we like. We want a two-bedroom unit so that we can stay in the condo until we have at least one child. We also want enough room for a dining room table. Unfortunately, nothing we’ve seen in Park Central fit the bill.

We initially tried to do the search ourselves by contacting the listing agent for them to show us the condo. This worked for the first few, but it took a lot of time for us. So, instead of waiting for individual realtors to show us their property, we decided to use Ben McKenzie, a local realtor who helped Rob find the condo he’s renting, to assist us with our search.

And the winner is...

After seeing Le Fais Do-Do and shocking our fellow venue-shoppers at Le Fais Do-Do with the number of reception venues we had seen, we figured it was time to make a decision.

Deciding on one venue proved difficult.  No two venues were alike.  We joke that trying to decide was a like a giant calculus equation, since there were several factors to consider, each of which changed from venue to venue.  One might come with tables and chairs while sacrificing parking.  Another might be perfect inside with a lackluster location. 

Throughout the process, none of the venues was a strong “no.”  At some point, each venue was at or near the top of our list.  No venue was perfect for our needs.  No matter which venue topped our list at any given moment, another venue could have topped it if another category was weighted more heavily. 

When it came time to make a final decision, the main factors we started looking at were space and price.  Everywhere we looked had enough space for our needs.  At first, it looked like there were some significant differences in price, but when you factored in table rentals, bartenders, security guards, etc., the difference in cost wasn’t significant enough to select one venue over another.  Costs remained fairly constant for our top contenders—the rental fees were around the same, we could bring our own alcohol, etc.  This was true at every place except Emory (which was immediately out of the running) and Cherokee Run (who said we had to use their caterer and purchase alcohol from them). 

Knowing that open bars generally ran $20+ per person, we figured Cherokee Run would add another $4,000 onto our tab.  They were at the bottom of the list.  Then, with one nearly too late email detailing the alcohol prices, the underdog came back and trumped the competition. 

So, it came down to small things.  I was pretty committed to Le Fais Do-Do.  Rob favored Spring Hall, but I couldn’t get past the location.  Having the reception in a shopping center, where we couldn’t have any pictures outside, really bothered me.  If it had a different location, I’m certain we would have chosen Spring Hall.  Of course, as Rob pointed out, we’d be in the same position with Le Fais Do-Do, but I still preferred that venue.  I loved the interior and the fact that we could transform it as we pleased.  (I also liked the disco ball.)

We also realized at this point that we hadn’t done any research on the price of the church for the ceremony.  We had been narrowly focused on reception venues without giving thought to churches, other than Grace Covenant.  Once we were learning towards Atlanta venues, we started exploring churches near Spring Hall and Le Fais Do-Do, which were our top choices.  We didn’t expect the church issue to complicate our decision, since neither of us anticipated the price of a church being comparable to cost of renting the reception venue. 

I was quickly proven wrong.  At the first church that we checked, we received an estimate of $2,500 for non-members.  The cost “included the Wedding Director's fee, two Wedding Coordinators (required) who conduct the rehearsal and are there for you on the wedding day; the Music Director and all organ music; set-up and take down; two security guards (required), the Marriage Workshop (which is in addition to your marriage counseling with your clergy and very much encouraged); and free parking.”  Since we aren’t expecting fights at the church, paying for two security guards (among other things) we didn’t want seemed unnecessary.  We also contacted a few other churches, which had fees ranging from $800 to $1900. 

Once we realized that the cost for a church would be more than we expected, we briefly considered having the ceremony at the reception location.  This idea would have worked fine with Spring Hall.  The ceremony room at Le Fais Do-Do looked like it would be very tight since the room was long and narrow shaped. 

However, when we pictured having the wedding ceremony at these venues, I realized how much I wanted a church wedding.  It’s not something I would have said I was 100% set on at the outset.  It was only when we started thinking about taking the church off the table that I realized how much I wanted it.  There’s something special and sacred about being married at a house of worship, and beginning your life together in a spiritual place.  I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would be disappointed if we didn’t have that type of start to our marriage. 

So, even after we’d spent a couple hours discussing it over the weekend, we still hadn’t come to a final decision.  When I realized how important a church wedding was, though, I told Rob that, if Cherokee Run got back to us with reasonable alcohol prices, we should go with that location. 

Luckily for us, Cherokee Run sent us a beverage price on Monday.  Their alcohol prices turned out to be very reasonable, and didn’t make them any more expensive than the rest of the venues we’d been considering closely.  Also, unlike most places, they allowed us to purchase bottles of wine and kegs of beer from them instead of limiting us to pay-per-drink or open bar prices.  Their system allows us to control pricing, and essentially allows us to get just as much there for what we were planning on spending on alcohol at any of the BYOB venues.

Also, Cherokee Run has a great location.  Being in Conyers allows us to use Grace Covenant, which was something that we’d wanted all along.  Cherokee Run made Grace Covenant a practical option, since it doesn’t involve a 45-minute drive between the ceremony and the reception.  An additional benefit is that Conyers is a smaller, more easily navigated city than Atlanta.  We thought that might be a better option for our guests who will be coming from out of town or who aren’t used to driving around the city in Atlanta. 

Now that we have finished our long search, we’ve made a decision and set the date.  I’m excited to announce that we will be getting married on June 2, 2012 at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, with the reception immediately following at Cherokee Run Golf Club.

Same Diamond, New Setting

As Rob mentioned in a previous post, he intentionally had the diamond placed in a simple setting so that I could pick a setting I liked.  Poor Rob had planned this out ahead of time, and had no idea that people would give me so much grief over “not liking” the ring, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. I repeatedly asked Rob, just to make sure, that going back to the jewelry store was his plan. If Rob hadn’t told me minutes after proposing that he wanted me to pick out a setting that suits me, I never would have gone to the jewelry store. Why would I have wanted to? The ring was gorgeous in a simple setting! It made me feel terrible that people kept assuming that I didn’t like the ring because it is my most prized possession. If I could only keep one item for the rest of my life, it would be the ring.

We did go to the jewelers. I wanted to go right away because the ring was too big.  Unfortunately, to resize the ring would have taken about a week. I opted to wait until I decided on the ring I wanted.

I looked for about an hour and a half before finding what I wanted. I was looking for a setting, kind of similar to the one Rob had picked, but a thinner band with small stones on it.  I didn’t want those small stones to be too shiny or big so as to distract from the center diamond—I think the jeweler was amused by me not wanting “too shiny diamonds”.  The jewelry store was then closed for two weeks, so we ended up going back a second time and picking out the final ring.  (It seems pretty standard in the jewelry industry to close for two weeks in July.  So, anyone who is thinking about making a major jewelry purchase around late June should take this into account.) 

I initially hesitated to say yes to the ring I wanted after getting a price. I’ve never purchased expensive jewelry before, and had no idea how much it costs.  Thankfully, I have an amazing fiancé who knows me well and took me aside to convince me that if that was the ring I wanted, that was the ring he wanted to get, we could afford it, I’d wear it forever, etc.

I loved the ring the moment I put it on. Since I picked it up from the jewelers, I am unable to go too long without glancing at it.



My new ring! Same diamond, new setting.



The sales person kept making a big deal about how Michael B (the ring designer) had such a beautiful box. This is the ring in the fancy box, which is really just shiny yellow as opposed to the standard black.



Side view--I love the detailing design along the center stone.